I had a very difficult childhood that included being physically abused by a parent and sexually
assaulted by a friend’s older brother. As a result of this trauma, I started taking “mother’s little
helper” at age eight and over the years moved on to heavy drugs and drinking – an expensive
habit that led to a lot of financial stress.
This pattern continued into adulthood until I almost ran into someone’s house with my car while
intoxicated. After that I went to treatment and remained sober for the next 15 years. As I got
older and had more free time again, I started going out more, including going to Vikings games
where everyone was smoking and drinking. Because I had a long history of sobriety, I thought I
could have some and control it, but it led once again to a period of heavy drinking and the
resulting bad decisions. I went on a dating site and my wife of 47 years left me. I was high 24
hours a day, but I had limits that made me feel like I was minimizing the damage – like I
wouldn’t drink and drive.
The next come to Jesus moment occurred in my 60s when I woke up after a bender in the
backyard of my Florida home next to an alligator with buzzards circling above me. Then I started
an outpatient treatment program, which was helping, although most of the other participants
were much younger than me and were court-ordered to attend (which meant they weren’t into
taking accountability for their actions) so in a very different situation than me.
Unfortunately, I was ultimately kicked out of that program when I turned 65 because Medicare
doesn’t cover it. They just denied the bill and the program billed me when insurance coverage
was denied. I reluctantly started looking for another program and found Silver Sobriety. It turned
out to be a much better fit for me because we can relate to each other much more and everyone
wants to be there – is even happy to be there. I feel like I’m part of something now.
When I was drinking and doing drugs, my grandkids didn’t want anything to do with me. Now I’m
going to be retiring soon and I am confident that I will remain sober because I know what my
triggers are and I have people who understand me that I can call when I’m in trouble.
Thankfully, I have gotten to the point where other people’s drinking and drug use doesn’t trigger
me like it used to – I don’t want to live like that anymore.
Tom
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